retard-npm/dist/isBozo.js

export function isBozo(name) {
    const reasons = [
        "Still uses var in 2025",
        "Thinks semicolons are optional (they are, but... no)",
        "Uses ChatGPT to write 'console.log(\"hello world\")'"
    ];
    if (!name || name.trim().length === 0) {
        return {
            status: false,
            confidence: "0%",
            reason: "No name provided",
            verdict: "Not a Bozo (but also not a person)"
        };
    }
    const length = name.trim().length;
    let confidence;
    let reason;
    let status = true;
    let verdict = "Certified Bozo 💀";
    if (length <= 3) {
        confidence = "95%";
        reason = "Name is suspiciously short";
    }
    else if (length > 15) {
        confidence = "90%";
        reason = "Name is way too long";
    }
    else if (length >= 7 && length <= 10) {
        confidence = "70%";
        reason = "Name is average, but still sus";
    }
    else {
        confidence = `${Math.floor(Math.random() * 20) + 60}%`;
        reason = reasons[Math.floor(Math.random() * reasons.length)];
    }
    return {
        status,
        confidence,
        reason,
        verdict
    };
}