just-jokes
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Random Joke and YoMomma Joke Generator Package
1,780 lines • 64.5 kB
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[
{
"id": 1,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What did the fish say when it hit the wall?",
"punchline": "Dam."
},
{
"id": 2,
"type": "general",
"setup": "How do you make a tissue dance?",
"punchline": "You put a little boogie on it."
},
{
"id": 3,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What's Forrest Gump's password?",
"punchline": "1Forrest1"
},
{
"id": 4,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What do you call a belt made out of watches?",
"punchline": "A waist of time."
},
{
"id": 5,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Why can't bicycles stand on their own?",
"punchline": "They are two tired"
},
{
"id": 6,
"type": "general",
"setup": "How does a train eat?",
"punchline": "It goes chew, chew"
},
{
"id": 7,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What do you call a singing Laptop",
"punchline": "A Dell"
},
{
"id": 8,
"type": "general",
"setup": "How many lips does a flower have?",
"punchline": "Tulips"
},
{
"id": 9,
"type": "general",
"setup": "How do you organize an outer space party?",
"punchline": "You planet"
},
{
"id": 10,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What kind of shoes does a thief wear?",
"punchline": "Sneakers"
},
{
"id": 11,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What's the best time to go to the dentist?",
"punchline": "Tooth hurty."
},
{
"id": 12,
"type": "knock-knock",
"setup": "Knock knock. \n Who's there? \n A broken pencil. \n A broken pencil who?",
"punchline": "Never mind. It's pointless."
},
{
"id": 13,
"type": "knock-knock",
"setup": "Knock knock. \n Who's there? \n Cows go. \n Cows go who?",
"punchline": "No, cows go moo."
},
{
"id": 14,
"type": "knock-knock",
"setup": "Knock knock. \n Who's there? \n Little old lady. \n Little old lady who?",
"punchline": "I didn't know you could yodel!"
},
{
"id": 15,
"type": "programming",
"setup": "What's the best thing about a Boolean?",
"punchline": "Even if you're wrong, you're only off by a bit."
},
{
"id": 16,
"type": "programming",
"setup": "What's the object-oriented way to become wealthy?",
"punchline": "Inheritance"
},
{
"id": 17,
"type": "programming",
"setup": "Where do programmers like to hangout?",
"punchline": "The Foo Bar."
},
{
"id": 18,
"type": "programming",
"setup": "Why did the programmer quit his job?",
"punchline": "Because he didn't get arrays."
},
{
"id": 19,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Did you hear about the two silk worms in a race?",
"punchline": "It ended in a tie."
},
{
"id": 20,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What do you call a laughing motorcycle?",
"punchline": "A Yamahahahaha."
},
{
"id": 21,
"type": "general",
"setup": "A termite walks into a bar and says...",
"punchline": "'Where is the bar tended?'"
},
{
"id": 22,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What does C.S. Lewis keep at the back of his wardrobe?",
"punchline": "Narnia business!"
},
{
"id": 23,
"type": "programming",
"setup": "Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?",
"punchline": "Because Oct 31 == Dec 25"
},
{
"id": 24,
"type": "programming",
"setup": "A SQL query walks into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks...",
"punchline": "'Can I join you?'"
},
{
"id": 25,
"type": "programming",
"setup": "How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?",
"punchline": "None that's a hardware problem"
},
{
"id": 26,
"type": "programming",
"setup": "If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program",
"punchline": "the rest of them will write Perl"
},
{
"id": 27,
"type": "programming",
"setup": "['hip', 'hip']",
"punchline": "(hip hip array)"
},
{
"id": 28,
"type": "programming",
"setup": "To understand what recursion is...",
"punchline": "You must first understand what recursion is"
},
{
"id": 29,
"type": "programming",
"setup": "There are 10 types of people in this world...",
"punchline": "Those who understand binary and those who don't"
},
{
"id": 30,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?",
"punchline": "Put it on my bill"
},
{
"id": 31,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?",
"punchline": "It gets toad away"
},
{
"id": 32,
"type": "general",
"setup": "did you know the first French fries weren't cooked in France?",
"punchline": "they were cooked in Greece"
},
{
"id": 33,
"type": "programming",
"setup": "Which song would an exception sing?",
"punchline": "Can't catch me - Avicii"
},
{
"id": 34,
"type": "knock-knock",
"setup": "Knock knock. \n Who's there? \n Opportunity.",
"punchline": "That is impossible. Opportunity doesn’t come knocking twice!"
},
{
"id": 35,
"type": "programming",
"setup": "Why do Java programmers wear glasses?",
"punchline": "Because they don't C#"
},
{
"id": 36,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Why did the mushroom get invited to the party?",
"punchline": "Because he was a fungi."
},
{
"id": 37,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Why did the mushroom get invited to the party?",
"punchline": "Because he was a fungi."
},
{
"id": 38,
"type": "general",
"setup": "I'm reading a book about anti-gravity...",
"punchline": "It's impossible to put down"
},
{
"id": 39,
"type": "general",
"setup": "If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you when you're in there?",
"punchline": "European"
},
{
"id": 40,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Want to hear a joke about a piece of paper?",
"punchline": "Never mind...it's tearable"
},
{
"id": 41,
"type": "general",
"setup": "I just watched a documentary about beavers.",
"punchline": "It was the best dam show I ever saw"
},
{
"id": 42,
"type": "general",
"setup": "If you see a robbery at an Apple Store...",
"punchline": "Does that make you an iWitness?"
},
{
"id": 43,
"type": "general",
"setup": "A ham sandwhich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says...",
"punchline": "I'm sorry, we don't serve food here"
},
{
"id": 44,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?",
"punchline": "Because he was a little horse"
},
{
"id": 45,
"type": "general",
"setup": "If you boil a clown...",
"punchline": "Do you get a laughing stock?"
},
{
"id": 46,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Finally realized why my plant sits around doing nothing all day...",
"punchline": "He loves his pot."
},
{
"id": 47,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Don't look at the eclipse through a colander.",
"punchline": "You'll strain your eyes."
},
{
"id": 48,
"type": "general",
"setup": "I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.",
"punchline": "I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!"
},
{
"id": 49,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Why do chicken coops only have two doors?",
"punchline": "Because if they had four, they would be chicken sedans"
},
{
"id": 50,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What do you call a factory that sells passable products?",
"punchline": "A satisfactory"
},
{
"id": 51,
"type": "general",
"setup": "When a dad drives past a graveyard: Did you know that's a popular cemetery?",
"punchline": "Yep, people are just dying to get in there"
},
{
"id": 52,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?",
"punchline": "He couldn't see himself doing it"
},
{
"id": 53,
"type": "general",
"setup": "How do you make holy water?",
"punchline": "You boil the hell out of it"
},
{
"id": 54,
"type": "general",
"setup": "I had a dream that I was a muffler last night.",
"punchline": "I woke up exhausted!"
},
{
"id": 55,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Why is peter pan always flying?",
"punchline": "Because he neverlands"
},
{
"id": 56,
"type": "programming",
"setup": "How do you check if a webpage is HTML5?",
"punchline": "Try it out on Internet Explorer"
},
{
"id": 57,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What do you call a cow with no legs?",
"punchline": "Ground beef!"
},
{
"id": 58,
"type": "general",
"setup": "I dropped a pear in my car this morning.",
"punchline": "You should drop another one, then you would have a pair."
},
{
"id": 59,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Lady: How do I spread love in this cruel world?",
"punchline": "Random Dude: [...💘]"
},
{
"id": 60,
"type": "programming",
"setup": "A user interface is like a joke.",
"punchline": "If you have to explain it then it is not that good."
},
{
"id": 61,
"type": "knock-knock",
"setup": "Knock knock. \n Who's there? \n Hatch. \n Hatch who?",
"punchline": "Bless you!"
},
{
"id": 62,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What do you call sad coffee?",
"punchline": "Despresso."
},
{
"id": 63,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Why did the butcher work extra hours at the shop?",
"punchline": "To make ends meat."
},
{
"id": 64,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Did you hear about the hungry clock?",
"punchline": "It went back four seconds."
},
{
"id": 65,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Well...",
"punchline": "That’s a deep subject."
},
{
"id": 66,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Did you hear the story about the cheese that saved the world?",
"punchline": "It was legend dairy."
},
{
"id": 67,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Did you watch the new comic book movie?",
"punchline": "It was very graphic!"
},
{
"id": 68,
"type": "general",
"setup": "I started a new business making yachts in my attic this year...",
"punchline": "The sails are going through the roof."
},
{
"id": 69,
"type": "general",
"setup": "I got hit in the head by a soda can, but it didn't hurt that much...",
"punchline": "It was a soft drink."
},
{
"id": 70,
"type": "general",
"setup": "I can't tell if i like this blender...",
"punchline": "It keeps giving me mixed results."
},
{
"id": 71,
"type": "general",
"setup": "I couldn't get a reservation at the library...",
"punchline": "They were fully booked."
},
{
"id": 72,
"type": "programming",
"setup": "I was gonna tell you a joke about UDP...",
"punchline": "...but you might not get it."
},
{
"id": 73,
"type": "programming",
"setup": "The punchline often arrives before the set-up.",
"punchline": "Do you know the problem with UDP jokes?"
},
{
"id": 74,
"type": "programming",
"setup": "Why do C# and Java developers keep breaking their keyboards?",
"punchline": "Because they use a strongly typed language."
},
{
"id": 75,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What do you give to a lemon in need?",
"punchline": "Lemonaid."
},
{
"id": 76,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Never take advice from electrons.",
"punchline": "They are always negative."
},
{
"id": 78,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Hey, dad, did you get a haircut?",
"punchline": "No, I got them all cut."
},
{
"id": 79,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What time is it?",
"punchline": "I don't know... it keeps changing."
},
{
"id": 80,
"type": "general",
"setup": "A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, \"Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get for you?\"",
"punchline": "Pop,goes the weasel."
},
{
"id": 81,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Bad at golf?",
"punchline": "Join the club."
},
{
"id": 82,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?",
"punchline": "Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump."
},
{
"id": 83,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Can February march?",
"punchline": "No, but April may."
},
{
"id": 84,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Can I watch the TV?",
"punchline": "Yes, but don’t turn it on."
},
{
"id": 85,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Dad, can you put my shoes on?",
"punchline": "I don't think they'll fit me."
},
{
"id": 86,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Did you hear about the bread factory burning down?",
"punchline": "They say the business is toast."
},
{
"id": 87,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Did you hear about the chameleon who couldn't change color?",
"punchline": "They had a reptile dysfunction."
},
{
"id": 88,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France?",
"punchline": "There was nothing left but de Brie."
},
{
"id": 89,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Did you hear about the cow who jumped over the barbed wire fence?",
"punchline": "It was udder destruction."
},
{
"id": 90,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers?",
"punchline": "They say he made a mint."
},
{
"id": 91,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?",
"punchline": "He's all right now."
},
{
"id": 92,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?",
"punchline": "It's ok, he woke up."
},
{
"id": 93,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Did you hear about the Mexican train killer?",
"punchline": "He had loco motives"
},
{
"id": 94,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon?",
"punchline": "The food is great, but there’s just no atmosphere."
},
{
"id": 95,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Did you hear about the runner who was criticized?",
"punchline": "He just took it in stride"
},
{
"id": 96,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?",
"punchline": "He had a very esteemed colleague."
},
{
"id": 97,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Did you hear about the submarine industry?",
"punchline": "It really took a dive..."
},
{
"id": 98,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Did you hear that David lost his ID in prague?",
"punchline": "Now we just have to call him Dav."
},
{
"id": 99,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Did you hear that the police have a warrant out on a midget psychic ripping people off?",
"punchline": "It reads \"Small medium at large.\""
},
{
"id": 100,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Did you hear the joke about the wandering nun?",
"punchline": "She was a roman catholic."
},
{
"id": 101,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Did you hear the news?",
"punchline": "FedEx and UPS are merging. They’re going to go by the name Fed-Up from now on."
},
{
"id": 102,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Did you hear the one about the guy with the broken hearing aid?",
"punchline": "Neither did he."
},
{
"id": 103,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Did you know crocodiles could grow up to 15 feet?",
"punchline": "But most just have 4."
},
{
"id": 104,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What do ghosts call their true love?",
"punchline": "Their ghoul-friend"
},
{
"id": 105,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Did you know that protons have mass?",
"punchline": "I didn't even know they were catholic."
},
{
"id": 106,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Did you know you should always take an extra pair of pants golfing?",
"punchline": "Just in case you get a hole in one."
},
{
"id": 107,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Do I enjoy making courthouse puns?",
"punchline": "Guilty"
},
{
"id": 108,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk?",
"punchline": "The stock market."
},
{
"id": 109,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Do you want a brief explanation of what an acorn is?",
"punchline": "In a nutshell, it's an oak tree."
},
{
"id": 110,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Ever wondered why bees hum?",
"punchline": "It's because they don't know the words."
},
{
"id": 111,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane?",
"punchline": "They mostly wrap."
},
{
"id": 112,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Have you heard of the band 1023MB?",
"punchline": "They haven't got a gig yet."
},
{
"id": 113,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Have you heard the rumor going around about butter?",
"punchline": "Never mind, I shouldn't spread it."
},
{
"id": 114,
"type": "general",
"setup": "How are false teeth like stars?",
"punchline": "They come out at night!"
},
{
"id": 115,
"type": "general",
"setup": "How can you tell a vampire has a cold?",
"punchline": "They start coffin."
},
{
"id": 116,
"type": "general",
"setup": "How come a man driving a train got struck by lightning?",
"punchline": "He was a good conductor."
},
{
"id": 117,
"type": "general",
"setup": "How come the stadium got hot after the game?",
"punchline": "Because all of the fans left."
},
{
"id": 118,
"type": "general",
"setup": "How did Darth Vader know what Luke was getting for Christmas?",
"punchline": "He felt his presents."
},
{
"id": 119,
"type": "general",
"setup": "How did the hipster burn the roof of his mouth?",
"punchline": "He ate the pizza before it was cool."
},
{
"id": 120,
"type": "general",
"setup": "How do hens stay fit?",
"punchline": "They always egg-cercise!"
},
{
"id": 121,
"type": "general",
"setup": "How do locomotives know where they're going?",
"punchline": "Lots of training"
},
{
"id": 122,
"type": "general",
"setup": "How do the trees get on the internet?",
"punchline": "They log on."
},
{
"id": 123,
"type": "general",
"setup": "How do you find Will Smith in the snow?",
"punchline": " Look for fresh prints."
},
{
"id": 124,
"type": "general",
"setup": "How do you fix a broken pizza?",
"punchline": "With tomato paste."
},
{
"id": 125,
"type": "general",
"setup": "How do you fix a damaged jack-o-lantern?",
"punchline": "You use a pumpkin patch."
},
{
"id": 126,
"type": "general",
"setup": "How do you get a baby alien to sleep?",
"punchline": " You rocket."
},
{
"id": 127,
"type": "general",
"setup": "How do you get two whales in a car?",
"punchline": "Start in England and drive West."
},
{
"id": 128,
"type": "general",
"setup": "How do you know if there’s an elephant under your bed?",
"punchline": "Your head hits the ceiling!"
},
{
"id": 129,
"type": "general",
"setup": "How do you make a hankie dance?",
"punchline": "Put a little boogie in it."
},
{
"id": 130,
"type": "general",
"setup": "How do you make holy water?",
"punchline": "You boil the hell out of it."
},
{
"id": 131,
"type": "general",
"setup": "How do you organize a space party?",
"punchline": "You planet."
},
{
"id": 132,
"type": "general",
"setup": "How do you steal a coat?",
"punchline": "You jacket."
},
{
"id": 133,
"type": "general",
"setup": "How do you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator?",
"punchline": "You will see one later and one in a while."
},
{
"id": 134,
"type": "general",
"setup": "How does a dyslexic poet write?",
"punchline": "Inverse."
},
{
"id": 135,
"type": "general",
"setup": "How does a French skeleton say hello?",
"punchline": "Bone-jour."
},
{
"id": 136,
"type": "general",
"setup": "How does a penguin build it’s house?",
"punchline": "Igloos it together."
},
{
"id": 137,
"type": "general",
"setup": "How does a scientist freshen their breath?",
"punchline": "With experi-mints!"
},
{
"id": 138,
"type": "general",
"setup": "How does the moon cut his hair?",
"punchline": "Eclipse it."
},
{
"id": 139,
"type": "general",
"setup": "How many apples grow on a tree?",
"punchline": "All of them!"
},
{
"id": 140,
"type": "general",
"setup": "How many bones are in the human hand?",
"punchline": "A handful of them."
},
{
"id": 141,
"type": "general",
"setup": "How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb?",
"punchline": "Oh, it's a really obscure number. You've probably never heard of it."
},
{
"id": 142,
"type": "general",
"setup": "How many kids with ADD does it take to change a lightbulb?",
"punchline": "Let's go ride bikes!"
},
{
"id": 143,
"type": "general",
"setup": "How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb?",
"punchline": "1 or 2? 1... or 2?"
},
{
"id": 144,
"type": "general",
"setup": "How many seconds are in a year?",
"punchline": "12. January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd.... etc"
},
{
"id": 145,
"type": "general",
"setup": "How many South Americans does it take to change a lightbulb?",
"punchline": "A Brazilian"
},
{
"id": 146,
"type": "general",
"setup": "How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus?",
"punchline": "Ten-tickles!"
},
{
"id": 147,
"type": "general",
"setup": "How much does a hipster weigh?",
"punchline": "An instagram."
},
{
"id": 148,
"type": "general",
"setup": "How was the snow globe feeling after the storm?",
"punchline": "A little shaken."
},
{
"id": 149,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Is the pool safe for diving?",
"punchline": "It deep ends."
},
{
"id": 150,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Is there a hole in your shoe?",
"punchline": "No… Then how’d you get your foot in it?"
},
{
"id": 151,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What did the spaghetti say to the other spaghetti?",
"punchline": "Pasta la vista, baby!"
},
{
"id": 152,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What’s 50 Cent’s name in Zimbabwe?",
"punchline": "200 Dollars."
},
{
"id": 153,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Want to hear a chimney joke?",
"punchline": "Got stacks of em! First one's on the house"
},
{
"id": 154,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Want to hear a joke about construction?",
"punchline": "Nah, I'm still working on it."
},
{
"id": 155,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Want to hear my pizza joke?",
"punchline": "Never mind, it's too cheesy."
},
{
"id": 156,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What animal is always at a game of cricket?",
"punchline": "A bat."
},
{
"id": 157,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What are the strongest days of the week?",
"punchline": "Saturday and Sunday...the rest are weekdays."
},
{
"id": 158,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What biscuit does a short person like?",
"punchline": "Shortbread. "
},
{
"id": 159,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What cheese can never be yours?",
"punchline": "Nacho cheese."
},
{
"id": 160,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?",
"punchline": "A spelling bee."
},
{
"id": 161,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What did celery say when he broke up with his girlfriend?",
"punchline": "She wasn't right for me, so I really don't carrot all."
},
{
"id": 162,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What did Michael Jackson name his denim store?",
"punchline": " Billy Jeans!"
},
{
"id": 163,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What did one nut say as he chased another nut?",
"punchline": " I'm a cashew!"
},
{
"id": 164,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What did one plate say to the other plate?",
"punchline": "Dinner is on me!"
},
{
"id": 165,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What did one snowman say to the other snow man?",
"punchline": "Do you smell carrot?"
},
{
"id": 166,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What did one wall say to the other wall?",
"punchline": "I'll meet you at the corner!"
},
{
"id": 167,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What did Romans use to cut pizza before the rolling cutter was invented?",
"punchline": "Lil Caesars"
},
{
"id": 168,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What did the 0 say to the 8?",
"punchline": "Nice belt."
},
{
"id": 169,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What did the beaver say to the tree?",
"punchline": "It's been nice gnawing you."
},
{
"id": 170,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What did the big flower say to the littler flower?",
"punchline": "Hi, bud!"
},
{
"id": 180,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school?",
"punchline": "Bison."
},
{
"id": 181,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock?",
"punchline": "Look, no hands!"
},
{
"id": 182,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What did the dog say to the two trees?",
"punchline": "Bark bark."
},
{
"id": 183,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What did the Dorito farmer say to the other Dorito farmer?",
"punchline": "Cool Ranch!"
},
{
"id": 184,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?",
"punchline": "Damn!"
},
{
"id": 185,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What did the grape do when he got stepped on?",
"punchline": "He let out a little wine."
},
{
"id": 186,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What did the judge say to the dentist?",
"punchline": "Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?"
},
{
"id": 187,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What did the late tomato say to the early tomato?",
"punchline": "I’ll ketch up"
},
{
"id": 188,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What did the left eye say to the right eye?",
"punchline": "Between us, something smells!"
},
{
"id": 189,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What did the mountain climber name his son?",
"punchline": "Cliff."
},
{
"id": 189,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What did the ocean say to the beach?",
"punchline": "Thanks for all the sediment."
},
{
"id": 190,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What did the ocean say to the shore?",
"punchline": "Nothing, it just waved."
},
{
"id": 191,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Why don't you find hippopotamuses hiding in trees?",
"punchline": "They're really good at it."
},
{
"id": 192,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?",
"punchline": "Aye Matey!"
},
{
"id": 193,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What did the Red light say to the Green light?",
"punchline": "Don't look at me I'm changing!"
},
{
"id": 194,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What did the scarf say to the hat?",
"punchline": "You go on ahead, I am going to hang around a bit longer."
},
{
"id": 195,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What did the shy pebble wish for?",
"punchline": "That she was a little boulder."
},
{
"id": 196,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What did the traffic light say to the car as it passed?",
"punchline": "Don't look I'm changing!"
},
{
"id": 197,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What did the Zen Buddist say to the hotdog vendor?",
"punchline": "Make me one with everything."
},
{
"id": 198,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What do birds give out on Halloween?",
"punchline": "Tweets."
},
{
"id": 199,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What do I look like?",
"punchline": "A JOKE MACHINE!?"
},
{
"id": 200,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What do prisoners use to call each other?",
"punchline": "Cell phones."
},
{
"id": 201,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What do vegetarian zombies eat?",
"punchline": "Grrrrrainnnnnssss."
},
{
"id": 202,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What do you call a bear with no teeth?",
"punchline": "A gummy bear!"
},
{
"id": 203,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What do you call a bee that lives in America?",
"punchline": "A USB."
},
{
"id": 204,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?",
"punchline": "A stick."
},
{
"id": 205,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What do you call a careful wolf?",
"punchline": "Aware wolf."
},
{
"id": 206,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What do you call a cow on a trampoline?",
"punchline": "A milk shake!"
},
{
"id": 207,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What do you call a cow with no legs?",
"punchline": "Ground beef."
},
{
"id": 208,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What do you call a cow with two legs?",
"punchline": "Lean beef."
},
{
"id": 209,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What do you call a crowd of chess players bragging about their wins in a hotel lobby?",
"punchline": "Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
},
{
"id": 210,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What do you call a dad that has fallen through the ice?",
"punchline": "A Popsicle."
},
{
"id": 211,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What do you call a dictionary on drugs?",
"punchline": "High definition."
},
{
"id": 212,
"type": "general",
"setup": "what do you call a dog that can do magic tricks?",
"punchline": "a labracadabrador"
},
{
"id": 213,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What do you call a droid that takes the long way around?",
"punchline": "R2 detour."
},
{
"id": 214,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What do you call a duck that gets all A's?",
"punchline": "A wise quacker."
},
{
"id": 215,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What do you call a fake noodle?",
"punchline": "An impasta."
},
{
"id": 216,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What do you call a fashionable lawn statue with an excellent sense of rhythmn?",
"punchline": "A metro-gnome"
},
{
"id": 217,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What do you call a fat psychic?",
"punchline": "A four-chin teller."
},
{
"id": 218,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What do you call a fly without wings?",
"punchline": "A walk."
},
{
"id": 219,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What do you call a girl between two posts?",
"punchline": "Annette."
},
{
"id": 220,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What do you call a group of disorganized cats?",
"punchline": "A cat-tastrophe."
},
{
"id": 221,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What do you call a group of killer whales playing instruments?",
"punchline": "An Orca-stra."
},
{
"id": 222,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What do you call a monkey in a mine field?",
"punchline": "A babooooom!"
},
{
"id": 223,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What do you call a nervous javelin thrower?",
"punchline": "Shakespeare."
},
{
"id": 224,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What do you call a pig that knows karate?",
"punchline": "A pork chop!"
},
{
"id": 225,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What do you call a pig with three eyes?",
"punchline": "Piiig"
},
{
"id": 226,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What do you call a pile of cats?",
"punchline": " A Meowtain."
},
{
"id": 227,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What do you call a sheep with no legs?",
"punchline": "A cloud."
},
{
"id": 228,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What do you call a troublesome Canadian high schooler?",
"punchline": "A poutine."
},
{
"id": 229,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What do you call an alligator in a vest?",
"punchline": "An in-vest-igator!"
},
{
"id": 230,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What do you call an Argentinian with a rubber toe?",
"punchline": "Roberto"
},
{
"id": 231,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What do you call an eagle who can play the piano?",
"punchline": "Talonted!"
},
{
"id": 232,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter?",
"punchline": "An irrelephant."
},
{
"id": 233,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What do you call an old snowman?",
"punchline": "Water."
},
{
"id": 234,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What do you call cheese by itself?",
"punchline": "Provolone."
},
{
"id": 235,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What do you call corn that joins the army?",
"punchline": "Kernel."
},
{
"id": 236,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What do you call someone with no nose?",
"punchline": "Nobody knows."
},
{
"id": 237,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What do you call two barracuda fish?",
"punchline": " A Pairacuda!"
},
{
"id": 238,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What do you do on a remote island?",
"punchline": "Try and find the TV island it belongs to."
},
{
"id": 239,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What do you do when you see a space man?",
"punchline": "Park your car, man."
},
{
"id": 240,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What do you get hanging from Apple trees?",
"punchline": "Sore arms."
},
{
"id": 241,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What do you get when you cross a bee and a sheep?",
"punchline": "A bah-humbug."
},
{
"id": 242,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What do you get when you cross a chicken with a skunk?",
"punchline": "A fowl smell!"
},
{
"id": 243,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?",
"punchline": "Hare spray."
},
{
"id": 244,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?",
"punchline": "Frostbite."
},
{
"id": 245,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What do you give a sick lemon?",
"punchline": "Lemonaid."
},
{
"id": 246,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What does a clock do when it's hungry?",
"punchline": "It goes back four seconds!"
},
{
"id": 247,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What does a female snake use for support?",
"punchline": "A co-Bra!"
},
{
"id": 248,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What does a pirate pay for his corn?",
"punchline": "A buccaneer!"
},
{
"id": 249,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What does an angry pepper do?",
"punchline": "It gets jalapeño face."
},
{
"id": 250,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?",
"punchline": "It gets toad."
},
{
"id": 251,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?",
"punchline": "They will give you a piece of your mind."
},
{
"id": 252,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What has ears but cannot hear?",
"punchline": "A field of corn."
},
{
"id": 253,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What is a centipedes's favorite Beatle song?",
"punchline": " I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand..."
},
{
"id": 254,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What is a tornado's favorite game to play?",
"punchline": "Twister!"
},
{
"id": 255,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What is a vampire's favorite fruit?",
"punchline": "A blood orange."
},
{
"id": 256,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What is a witch's favorite subject in school?",
"punchline": "Spelling!"
},
{
"id": 257,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What is red and smells like blue paint?",
"punchline": "Red paint!"
},
{
"id": 258,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What is the difference between ignorance and apathy?",
"punchline": "I don't know and I don't care."
},
{
"id": 259,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What is the hardest part about sky diving?",
"punchline": "The ground."
},
{
"id": 260,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What is the leading cause of dry skin?",
"punchline": "Towels"
},
{
"id": 261,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What is the least spoken language in the world?",
"punchline": "Sign Language"
},
{
"id": 262,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What is the tallest building in the world?",
"punchline": "The library, it’s got the most stories!"
},
{
"id": 263,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What is this movie about?",
"punchline": "It is about 2 hours long."
},
{
"id": 264,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What kind of award did the dentist receive?",
"punchline": "A little plaque."
},
{
"id": 265,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What kind of bagel can fly?",
"punchline": "A plain bagel."
},
{
"id": 266,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What kind of dinosaur loves to sleep?",
"punchline": "A stega-snore-us."
},
{
"id": 267,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What kind of dog lives in a particle accelerator?",
"punchline": "A Fermilabrador Retriever."
},
{
"id": 268,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What kind of magic do cows believe in?",
"punchline": "MOODOO."
},
{
"id": 269,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What kind of music do planets listen to?",
"punchline": "Nep-tunes."
},
{
"id": 270,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What kind of pants do ghosts wear?",
"punchline": "Boo jeans."
},
{
"id": 271,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What kind of tree fits in your hand?",
"punchline": "A palm tree!"
},
{
"id": 272,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?",
"punchline": "A nervous wreck."
},
{
"id": 273,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?",
"punchline": "A tuba toothpaste."
},
{
"id": 274,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What time did the man go to the dentist?",
"punchline": "Tooth hurt-y."
},
{
"id": 275,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What type of music do balloons hate?",
"punchline": "Pop music!"
},
{
"id": 276,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What was a more important invention than the first telephone?",
"punchline": "The second one."
},
{
"id": 277,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What was the pumpkin’s favorite sport?",
"punchline": "Squash."
},
{
"id": 278,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What's black and white and read all over?",
"punchline": "The newspaper."
},
{
"id": 279,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What's blue and not very heavy?",
"punchline": " Light blue."
},
{
"id": 280,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What's brown and sticky?",
"punchline": "A stick."
},
{
"id": 281,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What's orange and sounds like a parrot?",
"punchline": "A Carrot."
},
{
"id": 282,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What's red and bad for your teeth?",
"punchline": "A Brick."
},
{
"id": 283,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What's the best thing about elevator jokes?",
"punchline": "They work on so many levels."
},
{
"id": 284,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?",
"punchline": "You can tune a guitar but you can't \"tuna\"fish!"
},
{
"id": 285,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?",
"punchline": "One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter."
},
{
"id": 286,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What's the difference between a seal and a sea lion?",
"punchline": "An ion! "
},
{
"id": 287,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What's the worst part about being a cross-eyed teacher?",
"punchline": "They can't control their pupils."
},
{
"id": 288,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What's the worst thing about ancient history class?",
"punchline": "The teachers tend to Babylon."
},
{
"id": 289,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What’s brown and sounds like a bell?",
"punchline": "Dung!"
},
{
"id": 290,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What’s E.T. short for?",
"punchline": "He’s only got little legs."
},
{
"id": 291,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What’s Forest Gump’s Facebook password?",
"punchline": "1forest1"
},
{
"id": 292,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What’s the advantage of living in Switzerland?",
"punchline": "Well, the flag is a big plus."
},
{
"id": 293,
"type": "general",
"setup": "What’s the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant?",
"punchline": "About 5000 miles."
},
{
"id": 294,
"type": "general",
"setup": "When do doctors get angry?",
"punchline": "When they run out of patients."
},
{
"id": 295,
"type": "general",
"setup": "When does a joke become a dad joke?",
"punchline": "When it becomes apparent."
},
{
"id": 296,
"type": "general",
"setup": "When is a door not a door?",
"punchline": "When it's ajar."
},
{
"id": 297,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Where did you learn to make ice cream?",
"punchline": "Sunday school."
},
{
"id": 298,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Where do bees go to the bathroom?",
"punchline": " The BP station."
},
{
"id": 299,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Where do hamburgers go to dance?",
"punchline": "The meat-ball."
},
{
"id": 300,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Where do rabbits go after they get married?",
"punchline": "On a bunny-moon."
},
{
"id": 301,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?",
"punchline": "The baa-baa shop."
},
{
"id": 302,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Where do you learn to make banana splits?",
"punchline": "At sundae school."
},
{
"id": 303,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Where do young cows eat lunch?",
"punchline": "In the calf-ateria."
},
{
"id": 304,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Where does batman go to the bathroom?",
"punchline": "The batroom."
},
{
"id": 305,
"type": "general",
"setup": "Where does Fonzie like to go for lunch?",
"punchline": "Chick-Fil-Eyyyyyyyy."
},
{
"id": 306,
"type": "genera