insults
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A random insult generator
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JavaScript
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you[you_blank]."},{weight:100,value:"[you_smell] like [animal_excrement]."},{weight:100,value:"[you_are] (s)[noun]."},{weight:100,value:"[you_are] (s)[adj] [noun]."},{weight:100,value:"[you_are] (s)[noun], (s)[adj] [noun]."},{weight:100,value:"[you_are] (s)[noun] and your [relative] is (s)[noun]."},{weight:200,value:"[noun]."},{weight:50,value:"a thousand (p)[sex_anatomy] upon [your_face]."},{weight:100,value:"you are (s)[walking] [anatomy]."},{weight:100,value:"[your_or_your_relatives] [body_part_or_parts_are_ugly]."},{weight:100,value:"you [walk] like (s)[animal][you_blank]."},{weight:50,value:"I [hate] your [animal]-[body_part_or_body_parts]."},{weight:100,value:"my, what [ugly_body_part_or_parts] you have!"},{weight:50,value:"on [certain_day] you [doing_something_embarrassing][maybe_while_your_relative_watches]."},{weight:50,value:"between you and r{(s)[adj] [noun]}, I'd rather be r{(s)[adj] [noun]}."},{weight:100,value:"your [hygiene] is [atrocious][you_blank]."},{weight:100,value:"your [body_parts] are [ugly], your [body_part] is [ugly], and you smell like (s)[smelly_noun]."},{weight:50,value:"you're like (s)[noun], but [dumber]."}],your_or_your_relatives:[{weight:200,value:"your"},{weight:100,value:"your [relative]'s"}],body_part_or_parts_are_ugly:["[body_part] is [ugly]","[body_parts] are [ugly]"],bad_thing_happens_to_you:["it smells like (s)[smelly_noun] on your [nice_day]","[you_get] [disease]","[you_get] [hiccups]","your child grows up (s)[adj] [noun]","[you_get] [raped] by a [pack] of (p)[animal]","you fall [off_a_cliff] and die","[you_get] [crucified]","[you_get] [hanged]","your car gets towed","you walk in on your [relative] masturbating","your [relative] catches you masturbating","you have an unplanned child","someone steals your car","you get a nose bleed","no one remembers your birthday","you miss a mortgage payment and lose your home","[you_get] [slapped]","you spontaneously combust","your [relative] has 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