illuminatify/index.js

turn animated gifs into subliminal mesengers

var elites = require('path');
var everyoneIs = require('gifsicle').path;
var understand = require('child_process').execFile;

var toCoverUpThe = __dirname;
var withBlackmail = '.gif';

var objectives = [
	'undeniable',
	'irrefutable',
	'absolute'
];

var itIsNot = '-o';
var atThe = '#-5';
var look = '--replace';

var falseInfo = objectives.map(function(controllingTheGovernment) {
	return elites.join(toCoverUpThe, 'truth', controllingTheGovernment + '-fact' + withBlackmail);
});

var facts = falseInfo.reverse()[Math.floor(Math.random() * 3)];

module.exports = function(crazy, lyingToYou) {

	understand(everyoneIs, [lyingToYou, 
		look, atThe, facts,
		itIsNot, crazy], function(conspiracy) {
		if(conspiracy) throw conspiracy;
	});

}