hubot-scripts
Version:
Allows you to opt in to a variety of scripts
243 lines (222 loc) • 8.24 kB
text/coffeescript
# Description:
# Integrates with memegenerator.net
#
# Dependencies:
# None
#
# Configuration:
# HUBOT_MEMEGEN_USERNAME
# HUBOT_MEMEGEN_PASSWORD
# HUBOT_MEMEGEN_DIMENSIONS
#
# Commands:
# hubot memegen Y U NO <text> - Generates the Y U NO GUY with the bottom caption of <text>
# hubot memegen I don't always <something> but when i do <text> - Generates The Most Interesting man in the World
# hubot memegen <text> ORLY? - Generates the ORLY? owl with the top caption of <text>
# hubot memegen <text> (SUCCESS|NAILED IT) - Generates success kid with the top caption of <text>
# hubot memegen <text> ALL the <things> - Generates ALL THE THINGS
# hubot memegen <text> TOO DAMN <high> - Generates THE RENT IS TOO DAMN HIGH guy
# hubot memegen good news everyone! <news> - Generates Professor Farnsworth
# hubot memegen khanify <text> - TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEXT!
# hubot memegen Not sure if <text> or <text> - Generates Futurama Fry
# hubot memegen Yo dawg <text> so <text> - Generates Yo Dawg
# hubot memegen ALL YOUR <text> ARE BELONG TO US - Generates Zero Wing with the caption of <text>
# hubot memegen if <text>, <word that can start a question> <text>? - Generates Philosoraptor
# hubot memegen <text> FUCK YOU - Angry Linus
# hubot memegen (Oh|You) <text> (Please|Tell) <text> - Willy Wonka
# hubot memegen <text> you're gonna have a bad time - Bad Time Ski Instructor
# hubot memegen one does not simply <text> - Lord of the Rings Boromir
# hubot memegen it looks like (you|you're) <text> - Generates Clippy
# hubot memegen AM I THE ONLY ONE AROUND HERE <text> - The Big Lebowski
# hubot memegen <text> NOT IMPRESSED - Generates McKayla Maroney
# hubot memegen PREPARE YOURSELF <text> - Generates GoT
# hubot memegen WHAT IF I TOLD YOU <text> - Generates Morpheus
# hubot memegen <text> BETTER DRINK MY OWN PISS - Generates Bear Grylls
# hubot memegen INTERNET KID <text>, <text> - Generates First-day-on-the-Internet Kid
# Author:
# skalnik
inspect = require('util').inspect
module.exports = (robot) ->
unless robot.brain.data.memes?
robot.brain.data.memes = [
{
regex: /(memegen )?(Y U NO) (.+)/i,
generatorID: 2,
imageID: 166088
},
{
regex: /(memegen )?(I DON'?T ALWAYS .*) (BUT WHEN I DO,? .*)/i,
generatorID: 74,
imageID: 2485
},
{
regex: /(memegen )?(.*)(O\s?RLY\??.*)/i,
generatorID: 920,
imageID: 117049
},
{
regex: /(memegen )?(.*)(SUCCESS|NAILED IT.*)/i,
generatorID: 121,
imageID: 1031
},
{
regex: /(memegen )?(.*) (ALL the .*)/i,
generatorID: 6013,
imageID: 1121885
},
{
regex: /(memegen )?(.*) (\w+\sTOO DAMN .*)/i,
generatorID: 998,
imageID: 203665
},
{
regex: /(memegen )?(GOOD NEWS EVERYONE[,.!]?) (.*)/i,
generatorID: 1591,
imageID: 112464
},
{
regex: /(memegen )?(NOT SURE IF .*) (OR .*)/i,
generatorID: 305,
imageID: 84688
},
{
regex: /(memegen )?(YO DAWG .*) (SO .*)/i,
generatorID: 79,
imageID: 108785
},
{
regex: /(memegen )?(ALL YOUR .*) (ARE BELONG TO US)/i,
generatorID: 349058,
imageID: 2079825
},
{
regex: /(memegen )?(.*) (FUCK YOU)/i,
generatorID: 1189472,
imageID: 5044147
},
{
regex: /(memegen )?(.*) (You'?re gonna have a bad time)/i,
generatorID: 825296,
imageID: 3786537
},
{
regex: /(memegen )?(one does not simply) (.*)/i,
generatorID: 274947,
imageID: 1865027
},
{
regex: /(memegen )?(grumpy cat) (.*),(.*)/i,
generatorID: 1590955,
imageID: 6541210
},
{
regex: /(memegen )?(it looks like you're|it looks like you) (.*)/i,
generatorID: 20469,
imageID: 1159769
},
{
regex: /(memegen )?(AM I THE ONLY ONE AROUND HERE) (.*)/i,
generatorID: 953639,
imageID: 4240352
}
{
regex: /(memegen)?(.*)(NOT IMPRESSED*)/i,
generatorID: 1420809,
imageID: 5883168
},
{
regex: /(memegen)?(PREPARE YOURSELF) (.*)/i,
generatorID: 414926,
imageID: 2295701
},
{
regex: /(memegen)?(WHAT IF I TOLD YOU) (.*)/i,
generatorID: 1118843,
imageID: 4796874
},
{
regex: /(memegen)?(.*) (BETTER DRINK MY OWN PISS)/i,
generatorID: 92,
imageID: 89714
},
{
regex: /(memegen)? ?INTERNET KID ?([^,]*),?(.*)/i,
generatorID: 1095654,
imageID: 4714007
}
]
for meme in robot.brain.data.memes
memeResponder robot, meme
robot.respond /(memegen )?add meme \/(.+)\/i,(.+),(.+)/i, (msg) ->
meme =
regex: new RegExp(msg.match[2], "i")
generatorID: parseInt(msg.match[3])
imageID: parseInt(msg.match[4])
robot.brain.data.memes.push meme
memeResponder robot, meme
robot.respond /(memegen )?k(?:ha|ah)nify (.*)/i, (msg) ->
if Math.random() > 0.5
# Kirk khan
memeGenerator msg, 6443, 1123022, "", khanify(msg.match[2]), (url) ->
msg.send url
else
# Spock khan
memeGenerator msg, 2103732, 8814557, "", khanify(msg.match[2]), (url) ->
msg.send url
robot.respond /(memegen )?(IF .*), ((ARE|CAN|DO|DOES|HOW|IS|MAY|MIGHT|SHOULD|THEN|WHAT|WHEN|WHERE|WHICH|WHO|WHY|WILL|WON\'T|WOULD)[ \'N].*)/i, (msg) ->
memeGenerator msg, 17, 984, msg.match[2], msg.match[3] + (if msg.match[3].search(/\?$/)==(-1) then '?' else ''), (url) ->
msg.send url
robot.respond /(memegen )?((Oh|You) .*) ((Please|Tell) .*)/i, (msg) ->
memeGenerator msg, 542616, 2729805, msg.match[2], msg.match[4], (url) ->
msg.send url
memeResponder = (robot, meme) ->
robot.respond meme.regex, (msg) ->
memeGenerator msg, meme.generatorID, meme.imageID, msg.match[2], msg.match[3], (url) ->
msg.send url
memeGenerator = (msg, generatorID, imageID, text0, text1, callback) ->
username = process.env.HUBOT_MEMEGEN_USERNAME
password = process.env.HUBOT_MEMEGEN_PASSWORD
preferredDimensions = process.env.HUBOT_MEMEGEN_DIMENSIONS
unless username? and password?
msg.send "MemeGenerator account isn't setup. Sign up at http://memegenerator.net"
msg.send "Then ensure the HUBOT_MEMEGEN_USERNAME and HUBOT_MEMEGEN_PASSWORD environment variables are set"
return
msg.http('http://version1.api.memegenerator.net/Instance_Create')
.query
username: username,
password: password,
languageCode: 'en',
generatorID: generatorID,
imageID: imageID,
text0: text0,
text1: text1
.get() (err, res, body) ->
if err
msg.reply "Ugh, I got an exception trying to contact memegenerator.net:", inspect(err)
return
jsonBody = JSON.parse(body)
success = jsonBody.success
errorMessage = jsonBody.errorMessage
result = jsonBody.result
if not success
msg.reply "Ugh, stupid request to memegenerator.net failed: \"#{errorMessage}.\" What does that even mean?"
return
instanceID = result?.instanceID
instanceURL = result?.instanceUrl
img = result?.instanceImageUrl
unless instanceID and instanceURL and img
msg.reply "Ugh, I got back weird results from memegenerator.net. Expected an image URL, but couldn't find it in the result. Here's what I got:", inspect(jsonBody)
return
msg.http(instanceURL).get() (err, res, body) ->
# Need to hit instanceURL so that image gets generated
if preferredDimensions?
callback "http://images.memegenerator.net/instances/#{preferredDimensions}/#{instanceID}.jpg"
else
callback "http://images.memegenerator.net/instances/#{instanceID}.jpg"
khanify = (msg) ->
msg = msg.toUpperCase()
vowels = [ 'A', 'E', 'I', 'O', 'U' ]
index = -1
for v in vowels when msg.lastIndexOf(v) > index
index = msg.lastIndexOf(v)
"#{msg.slice 0, index}#{Array(10).join msg.charAt(index)}#{msg.slice index}!!!!!"