goofy-cookie-cli/commands/easterEggs.js

A goofy cookie-themed CLI for fun

const chalk = require('chalk');
const { colors } = require('../utils/print');

const fortunes = [
  "You will find a cookie in an unexpected place.",
  "A crunchy surprise awaits you.",
  "Beware of the cookie jar's secrets.",
  "Sweetness comes to those who wait.",
];

const cookieEasterEggs = {
  "cookie summon": () => {
    const guardians = [
      "🍪 The Cookie Guardian emerges from the doughy depths...",
      "👻 A spectral cookie appears and whispers secrets of the oven.",
      "🧙‍♂️ The Great Cookie Wizard blesses your terminal!",
      "🐉 A cookie dragon flaps its wings and vanishes in crumbs."
    ];
    return { content: guardians[Math.floor(Math.random() * guardians.length)], color: colors.brown };
  },
  "cookie hack": () => {
    const hackingSteps = [
      "Initializing cookie hack...",
      "Bypassing chocolate firewall...",
      "Injecting sprinkle script...",
      "Extracting recipe.exe...",
      "🍪 SUCCESS: Gained access to the secret cookie vault."
    ];
    return { content: hackingSteps.join('\n'), color: chalk.green };
  },
  "cookie glitch": () => {
    const glitchText = `g̷̖̟̤̲̹̘͗͛͐l̷̡̬͓̈́̔̓̓͌͘̚͜͜͝į̴̖̝̱̱͙͖͍̟̈́̒͘͠t̴̢͖̜͉̲̰͔̺͔̋̀͝c̴͐͆͋r̵̰̬̥̪̥̹͔͓̖̈́̓͂͠o̸͕̳͕͉͙̞͕̎̓͊̈́̎́̈́͗̐͝r̵͎̭̟͙̜̱̄͋̒̾̄̀͛̚͝`;
    return { content: glitchText, color: chalk.magenta };
  },
  "cookie cookie": () => {
    return { content: "🍪🍪 Double cookie power activated!", color: colors.brown };
  },
  "cookie ascii": () => {
    const art = `      ( (
       ) )
    ........
    |      |]
    \\      /
     \`----'
A digital cookie just for you 🍪`;
    return { content: art, color: colors.brown };
  },
  "cookie self-destruct": () => {
    return { content: `💣 Initiating self-destruct sequence...\n3...\n2...\n1...\n💥 Just kidding. Cookies are immortal.`, color: colors.red };
  },
  "cookie lore": () => {
    return {
      content: `🍪 🍪 Long ago, a cookie was baked so perfectly... it broke reality. Now it lives on in crumbs across the CLI.`,
      color: colors.brown
    };
  },
  "cookie matrix": () => {
    const matrix = Array.from({ length: 12 }, () =>
      Array.from({ length: 32 }, () => Math.round(Math.random())).join("")
    ).join("\n");
    return { content: `🟢 Cookie Matrix Loaded:\n${matrix}`, color: chalk.green };
  },
  "cookie fortune": () => {
    const fortune = fortunes[Math.floor(Math.random() * fortunes.length)];
    return { content: fortune, color: colors.brown };
  }
};

module.exports = cookieEasterEggs;